Tight lips at work? It’s time to UNZIP-it!

“I can’t talk about that at work.”

“My boss wouldn’t want to hear what I have to say.”

Employees have so many reasons for not talking about meaningful topics at work. Sometimes, they’re tight-lipped simply because giving feedback is difficult. In other cases, they may feel that sharing personal information is inappropriate, or trusting relationships necessary to do so are absent. Maybe the opportunity to explore new relationships simply never arises. And yet, companies are quick to realize that engagement and productivity increase as employee relationships and trust deepen. In a 2017 study by The McKinsey Global Institute, researchers found that productivity improves by 20-25% in organizations with connected employees.

Change is an action verb

Organizations that value strong working relationships shouldn’t leave the development of those relationships to chance. After all, change rarely happens by itself. High-functioning teams are a result of hard work and groups working together to overcome obstacles or achieve common goals. Through the shared experiences, team members learn more about one another and come to rely on each other. If team development doesn’t happen overnight, or by accident, we must assume that other working relationships won’t happen that way either. When the goal is changing interpersonal dynamics, we have to take ownership and make it happen. Unfortunately, many managers are ill-equipped with the skills and tools to start conversations.

Making it happen: Change your thinking or change your situation

When my kids have been frustrated with a situation–a difficult teacher, a not-so-nice friend, their placement on a team, etc.–I’ve always fallen back on the mantra that you can either change the way you’re thinking about your predicament or you can do something about it. “Doing something” can take many forms–walking away, altering your own behavior, or talking through a situation so you can either come to a shared understanding or a new outcome. Unfortunately, many are woefully ill-equipped with the skills and tools to start conversations.

6 tricks to starting conversations

If you have the budget, hiring a consultant, coach, or team-building professional can do wonders to initiate important conversations, bridge divides, develop common understanding, and build relationships. However, even without deep pockets, you can achieve substantial results with a handful of creative tools. The key is carving out the time that consultant would have demanded and making it happen on your own.

Thumballs – Toss the ball and discuss the prompt under your thumb. Thumballs have grown in popularity because they make a game of starting conversations. Thumball topics include: Getting to Know You, Common Ground, Session Openers, Ethics, Diversity, Team Dynamics, Leadership, and more.
UNZIP-it! decks – Grab a card from an UNZIP-it! pocket and respond to the discussion prompt on the card. The UNZIP-it! pocket makes it fun to draw a card and start talking. Decks are currently available in a range of topics such as Getting to Know You, Common Ground, and Session Openers. They’re very compact for storage and travel.
Conversation Topic decks -Card decks are available in a huge variety of topics from leadership and emotional intelligence to feelings and values. Deck games are typically played like this: players draw a “hand,” sort or trade the cards according to which best describe their mindset, and then discuss those qualities with the group.
Image decks – Spread out an assortment of intriguing photographs and let individuals locate a card that represents a thought, concern, or interest. Welcome participants to use the card as a crutch or a metaphor to describe an experience, idea, question or observation.
Sticky Notes – Invite participants to think on their own or “share in pairs ” and write their ideas, thoughts, concerns, or questions on sticky notes. Post those to a board in the front of the room. Then the facilitator can sort those notes and lead a group discussion about the most popular topics.
Team-building experiences – games are popular because they distance players from their day-to-day experiences, freeing them to explore interpersonal dynamics in a safe space. When debriefing the activity, facilitators can draw parallels to “real world” experiences and use those to stimulate conversation.

Any tool is better than no tool!

Those new to the idea of building relationships or initiating conversations can feel confident that this range of resources will yield interesting conversations. If you’re addressing an “elephant in the room” or a particularly touchy topic, consider engaging a facilitator or setting up ground rules to make the exercise feel safer. But whatever you do, will likely be better than doing nothing.

The pay-off is worth it according to studies by Gallup, Workplace Research Foundation, Business2Community, and Queens School of Business, as organizations that foster dialogue among colleagues have been proven to achieve greater employee engagement, lower turnover, and higher productivity.

So unzip-it and start talking!